Charles Keefer's Blog

A Very Merry Christmas

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Time for this year’s Christmas message.

Season’s greetings go out to all you Republicans out there. May you have a wonderful time giving yourselves great Christmas presents paid for by the lesser of us through our taxes. Saks Fifth Avenue, I’m sure, will have a good year. The rest of us have Wal-Mart.

Happy Holidays to the big banks. May you get many late payment fees on our credit cards because we are tapped out trying to buy toys for our kids.

Noel to Haliburton. Couldn’t do it without you. Remember your Christmas Card to Dick Cheney. And don’t forget the check.

Felis Novidad to all you employers out there who hire undocumented workers. Let’s continue to insure that they have no way to citizenship, health services, or social security. Not even if they join the Marines. We won’t even mention workers’ comp.

Another lump of coal to the Koch family. Just another lump of profit to the two guys responsible for the most mining violations in the country, and, by the way, thanks for the Tea Party.

A partridge in a pear tree to BP. Without you we wouldn’t know what disregarding safety regulations can really mean. You are the best.

And what would Christmas be without Fox News and Glenn Beck? There would be no war on it. I mean, I thought the war on drugs was brilliant. A no-win war that will last forever and can be used to jail people you don’t like.

I thought the war on terrorism was exceptional. A no-win war that lasts forever and allows us to invade other countries because they have oil. Or even if they don’t.

But a war on Christmas? Unsurpassed. You can be fair and balanced because there is at least one war you are against. Even if you made it up.

A Happy New Year to Barack Obama. May you enjoy dealing with a Republican majority with subpoena power as much as you enjoyed dealing with a Republican minority with the power of the filibuster.

And finally, best wishes to the Supreme Court. What would Christmas be without you guys. We have had lots of Supreme Court heros throughout history. But they are boring. What are heros like John Marshall, Stephen Douglas, Louis Brandeis, and many more without someone to compare them to. Well, thank you for giving us someone to compare them to. Now we have a living example of what a Supreme Court shouldn’t be – completely partisan with total disregard for the law or precident.

Earl Warren, who brought us Brown v. Board of Education (1954), Gideon v. Wainwright (1963), Reynolds v. Sims (1964), and Miranda v. Arizona (1966), was a Republican.

John G. Roberts, Jr., may define a new low. A Christmas gift to us all.

As for the rest of you out there, I have four words.

Public financing of elections.


Written by Charles Keefer

December 22, 2010 at 9:12 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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